Making Space.
My outlook for 2024 and how I got here. I'm reflecting on the past several years and the transformation I've made in my life. My aim in sharing is to help others who could use it. <3
This past year, I realized the power of intention. Writing down my aspirations helped me manage self-doubt and uncover hidden potential. Art journaling became a way to express myself and unlock creativity. Introspection and therapy helped me find inner peace. I realized I was more than a mother, wife, and former web developer. I was an artist, a writer, a dreamer, shaping my future. Now, in 2024, I feel renewed. This is a story of flourishing, not just overcoming. I am optimistic and hope sharing this story will inspire others to make space for personal growth.
Space for Planning
My family and I have undergone a significant transformation in the past few years. Toward the end of 2021, my husband and I decided to move to a bigger house. This decision was complicated by the fact that my husband was recovering from a health scare, and my son would have to hop between schools. Despite the challenges, switching schools while the kids were still young was the right thing to do. Although the move was unsettling, I was determined to make it work.
In 2022, I had faced self-doubt, anxiety, stress, and fear. But, I was determined to make 2023 better. By the end of 2022, I had already started making changes, but I knew there was more to be done. In mid-2022, I discovered the Cultivate What Matters yearly goal planner (on sale halfway through the year!), so I tried it out. Although I had tried annual goal-setting before, I had struggled to make meaningful changes. But something about this planner stood out.
Before this, I had been listening to self-help podcasts and had a daily meditation practice, which had a positive impact but needed more. Going through the reflections and prompts in the planner finally got me to slow down, reflect, and get super intentional about how I use my energy. The planner helped me focus on what really mattered and prioritize my goals.
By the end of 2023, I had achieved many goals and felt much happier and fulfilled. The new house started feeling like home, and my family was adjusting to the changes. My husband had recovered fully, and my son had settled into his new school. It was a year of growth, learning, and transformation, and I was grateful for the experience.
Self-reflection and planning made a significant impact on helping me achieve my goals. It not only helped me stay focused but also made me realize the progress I had made. Truth be told, I would have achieved most of my goals without any written plans, as I tend to take action instinctively. Slowing down and laying out a plan helped me avoid burnout and realize my achievements - a great boost in confidence.
After my 2022 goal-planning success, I knew I'd do it again in 2023. I'd made progress, but there was definitely more work to be done. I was still yelling at my kids too much; I wanted to be kinder to my husband, be kinder to myself - but how could I be kinder to myself if I was being so mean to the people I love most? To help me focus on these intentions, I chose "care" for my 2023 word of the year. I would take care in how I was showing up for my family. It ended up serving me well.
So, I set up my planner and was on my way, but I stopped using it mid-way through the second quarter. Not because I no longer liked it but because I had internalized the concepts I'd studied over the years. Instead, I used systems and tools that replaced the role of the planner, which turned out to be more effective for me.
Space for Creativity
A few months later, I found Ali Edwards via Christine Koh's Edit Your Life podcast, who talked about art journaling, which immediately intrigued me. I had never heard of the concept before but knew I had to try it. It's the same as a journal for writing, but instead of only writing, you paint/draw/color in the journal. You're free to do whatever comes to you. Before the episode ended, that impatient part of me had ordered one of her journals and a cheap set of acrylic paints and paintbrushes. I had finally found... a hobby.
Almost daily, I was making some marks on a page. I didn't care what the mark looked like; the point was to just do it. No judgment, no plan, no intention of ever showing it to anyone. It was so freeing. I let thoughts, feelings, ideas spill onto the pages, clearing space in my brain. What a joy.
After a few weeks, I often looked back through my previous journal entries before starting any painting. I enjoyed running my hands over the notebook, feeling it getting thicker with paint and seeing the spillover that stained the edges so that you could see it was my art journal before even opening it. And what most amazed me was that I really enjoyed looking at the pages; I liked my paintings! I, a former web developer, felt a little bit like an artist.
Space for Free Time
I have realized that feeling less rushed and more free has allowed me to fully embrace the concept of 'free time.' Instead of filling every moment with productive activities like cleaning or managing my kids, I have started giving myself the space to just be and enjoy the moment. Though I am still doing something, it brings me pure pleasure and joy without any results in mind. This shift in mindset has been transformative.
This freed up my time for peer group participation, longer meditations, early bedtimes and morning runs, embroidery, yoga, tai chi, and, most recently, writing. The dominoes of life all felt lined up. I've fit in a lifetime of hobbies and good vibes into one year. I'm nowhere near perfect at any of these things, and I plan on prioritizing some to hone the crafts that will serve me best.
Space for Self-Care
There was a particular moment that played another crucial role in the success of the year. In late spring, I was texting with my best friend, stressing about having yelled at my kids again, and beating myself up about it. For the 3rd or 4th time in 3 years, she very kindly suggested I consider trying medication to help me with my anxiety. She knew my dedication to self-improvement; though I'd made some, I still had fear and self-doubt. I was making so many improvements in other parts of my life, but this one seemed stuck. I finally took her advice.
I went to my doctor (GP) to ask if he thought medication would help me. He did, and we went through a few months of finding the right medication and dose. Simultaneously, I found a psychologist who took my insurance and helped me dig into my life experiences and explore how and why I experience my fears, anxieties, and beliefs.
This combination of the right therapist and medication was the secret sauce to take what I'd already been doing and really propel me forward to what I believe has been the best year of my life. My journey toward "care" has resulted in recognizing myself as an artist, a writer, a good mother, a creative, an entrepreneur, a dreamer, and an action-taker. I have a stronger understanding of my place in the world and how I can be the positive force I've always wanted to be.
I sometimes fear that my mood is at the top right now, and the only way forward is down. But if I could change this much over the last year or so, anything is possible. So now, in these early days of 2024, I'm ready to take this progress forward. Planning and a word of the year have become vital inspirations in my life. Some form of this will continue to be my guiding light. This year, however, I'm not using a planner. I've continued to tweak and refine my process based on everything I know.
More (Space) in 2024
I turned to my trusty podcast library for inspiration. I had done Gretchen Rubin's 20 in 2020 list and maybe 2021, but I didn't stick to it and didn't do it in 2022 or 2023..... I liked the idea but was having sporadic success, which explains why I had tried something new, like the goal planner. However, since that wasn't the right fit, I needed a new system. So, I decided to do a 24 in 2024 list with a little twist, thinking I'm much better prepared to execute it this year.
So, here's what I've done to prepare for 2024, much of which I plan on writing about as the year progresses.
24 in 2024 list
a personal vision board (integrated with word of the year and 24 in 24)
professional vision board
hang vision boards in places I see them every day
I still need to:
create and stick to a schedule of checking my vision boards.
do my happiness project via Gretchen Rubin's Happiness Project Revisited course.
set priorities for my hobbies.
assess how my hobbies can become my profession or will be applied to my existing profession.
Important ways I'm creating space in 2024:
in my head: noise-canceling headphones, nature/garden walks, running outside, 20-minute meditations, Nothing Much Happens podcasts
for creativity: Beth Kempton's Winter Writing Sanctuary, painting, weekend creative time, group creation and writing sessions, meditation
physical: 5 minutes of tidying my workspace every day before I start work, 90 seconds of cleaning up before I leave my workspace
space for beauty/mood: indoor plants, outdoor plants, fairy lights, hygge, improved storage solutions
Space for Reflection
Reflecting on my journey through 2023, I revel in the transformation. The year began with the remnants of a move fraught with worry and the daunting task of balancing budgets and family. Yet, what seemed like unsurmountable peaks became catalysts for growth. Reflecting, initially through a planner and then through internalized systems, brought clarity and purpose. The discovery of art journaling opened a new world of creativity and self-expression, and adopting hobbies like embroidery and tai chi brought balance and richness. Finally, the decision to seek help through medication and therapy was a turning point. It not only alleviated my anxiety but also empowered me to better understand myself and my experiences.
Now, in the dawn of 2024, there is a sense of optimism and readiness. My focus for the year ahead is not just on achieving goals but on creating space - space for creativity, self-care, and joy. The journey continues, and I am eager to see where it takes me, prepared with lessons from the past and the promise of a future filled with space for all that matters.
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